Sponsor’s
Message
The
following is to be sung very loudly:
“Simon
Says Swap Your Hands With Your Feet! Put Your Nose On Your Chin! Oops, I Didn’t
Say GO ABSURD!”
Opening
Absurdity
Too
many broths spoil the cook
But
let’s substitute ‘burgers’ for ‘broths’
(if
you happen to live in the 21st century)
Quote/Proverb
of the Day
“If
the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a
wonderful living” (Yiddish Proverb)
An
Absurd World…
A
pre-Christmas midnight balloon drop in an Australian shopping centre went
horribly wrong when an over-excited crowd rushed towards the prize-filled
balloons and created a stampede. This resulted in five people being taken to
hospital and twelve shoppers needing medical attention at the scene.
A
Wise and Foolish Saying That May Have Been Said…
The
surest way to get dirty is to clean
Book
Title You Will Probably Never See…
How
To Turn the Future Into The Past While Waiting
A
Boast You Will Probably Never Hear…
“I’m
really good at ejaculating my thoughts into words!”
Things
You Will Probably Never Hear In 2020…
“Holidays
are becoming increasingly Holy within the Western World”
The
Meaning of Life?
Being
Palatial
A
Statistic That Probably Never Was or Will Ever Be…
23%
of people worldwide, yesterday, brushed their teeth with an organically
activated toothpaste while silently reciting Macbeth and thinking of a purple
tie and dress
From
The Great Man Pedro Carolino Who Wrote A
Portuguese-English Phrase Book, using a pair of dictionaries to translate from
Portuguese into French and then French into English, Without Being Able to
Speak Any English…
That
pond it seems me many multiplied of fishes. Let us amuse rather to the fishing.
I
do like-it too much.
Here,
there is a wand and some hooks….
Perhaps
I will do best to fish with the leap.
Try
it! I desire that you may be more happy and more skilful who acertain fisher,
what have fished all day without to can take nothing.
(From
the Book, English As She Is Spoke)
“This
is my final and greatest epiphany: Fireworks are so named because people
sometimes get fired at work!”
Something
to Wear
Go
Absurd! Exercise:
1.
Buy
a pair of wings from a costume/fancy-dress shop
2.
Rip
one of the wings and paint some red lines down both of the wings
3.
Tape
your wings on and wear them out in public
4. Passionately
sing the song, Broken Wings, from Mr. Mister to everyone you encounter: “Take, these
broken wings, and learn to fly again…”
A
Sign You Will Probably Never See…
|
I
NEED
WANT
|
Remember
Absurd
responsibly. The Buddhist no harm principle applies here. Do not harm
yourself or others when going absurd. (Maybe what I have just written is
absurd?)
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