Go Absurd

Sponsor’s Message this message is pointless as no one will ever read it. Go Absurd! Opening Absurdity Mildred, have you seen Mildred who claims to have seen Mildred last week? How a tiger frees its mouth from an orgasm, or: The chronicles of a day lifer with Jonathan as a doughnut Quote of the Day “You side with life only when you utter – with all your heart – a banality” (Emil Cioran) A Wise and Foolish Saying That Will Probably Never Be Said If life was any harder it would all turn to steel A Cruel and Absurd World… One man has died and another has lost his leg after jumping from a moving train in Egypt. The pair were caught travelling without a ticket and after both were unable to pay the small fine, were asked to leave the moving train. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7629559/Man-killed-loses-leg-jumping-train-without-tickets.html Book Title You Will Probably Never See… How to Barter for Pubic Hair at The Barber’s ...

Sponsor’s Message Life Would Be Absurd If You Didn’t GO ABSURD! Opening Absurdity I judge my life by Facebook Likes and words will never hurt me Nice daybed Mr M! tell Mrs S you need a morning-tea-bed Quote of the Day   “To ridicule. To be ridiculous. These are, for Unamuno, the only response to the ‘tragic sense of life’. The philosophy of ridicule, and also a ridiculous philosophy.” (Eugene Thacker on Miguel de Unamuno)  A Wise and Foolish Saying That Will Probably Never Be Said Walk for public office, and run for private space A Cruel and Absurd World… An American woman has died after being hit by a piece of debris that came from an explosion associated with a gender reveal announcement https://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/2019/10/26/woman-dies-iowa-gender-reveal-explosion/2475870001/ Book Title You Will Probably Never See… How To Count Grains Of Sand While Intoxicated Random Fact There are more tha...

Sponsor’s Message Give me a g, G! Give me an o, O! Give me an a, A! Give me a b, B! Give me a s, S! Give me a u, U! Give me a r, R! Give me a d, D! What’s that spell? GO ABSURD! Opening Absurdity Galloping rhino’s fleeing the queen while the king eats his strawberry sweet dream Is that a frog you’re erasing dear Master? It must have been drinking a wheel. Algebra Quote of the Day “To stay or to go, it amounted to the same thing.” (Albert Camus,  The Stranger ) A Sometimes Cruel and Absurd World… A British woman says her life has been destroyed after her chair collapsed at work forcing her to fall and hit her head. As a result of the accident she now has long-term sight, mobility, and memory problems https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-shadow-former-self-after-20701753 Book Title You Will Probably Never See… How To Captain A Ship That Has Lost A Mast And Nachos A Possibly Wise, Possibly Foolish Question… ...

Sponsor’s Message Save Lives and Go Absurd! Opening Absurdity The pornographic ambassador to Africa said:  “We need to grow. We need more intercourse between nations” The only reason I’m still living is because I retired from life in 1973 Quote of the Day “The person who lives without folly is not as wise as he thinks” (La Rochefoucauld) An Absurd World… A plastic bottle with a secret camera hidden inside has been discovered by a female beachgoer at a Sydney beach. Having watched a man place the plastic water bottle directly behind her, she initially picked up the bottle to throw it in the bin, annoyed that the man had so blatantly littered. It was then she discovered his real intentions after spotting the camera and soon after the man running from the scene. Soon after she went to the police and uploaded the images and footage to her Facebook page to warn others. https://www.9news.com.au/national/hidden-camera-sydney-water-bottle-beach-women...

Sponsor’s Message Absurdity has been shown to boost your mood and IQ by 100% (maybe 😊 ). So, the big question is: when will you Go Absurd?! Opening Absurdity I only enjoy life when it’s intoxicated and naked “Did Dr. Garrison examine you at your fullest and emptiest?” Quote of the Day “Sometimes there is no warning. Things occur in seconds. Everything changes. You’re alive. You’re dead. And things move on. We are paper thin. We exist on luck amid the percentages, temporarily. And that’s the best part and the worst part, the temporal factor. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”  (Charles Bukowski) A Possibly Wise, Possibly Foolish Saying That Will Probably Never Be Said A man with no cloak has no cloak A Cruel and Absurd World… A British woman died leaning out of a train window after her head was struck by a tree branch. The train was travelling at around 75 miles per hour at the time. An investigation found that better signage may...

Sponsor’s Message Sick of it all? Go Absurd! Opening Absurdity You don’t levitate the purple dawn while trying to be a part-time loser not earning a PhD in PhD’s! I said full-time! Dada Psh Psh Psh Wee! Quote of the Day “Unlike pleasures, pains do not lead to satiety. There is no blasé leper.” (Emil Cioran) A Possibly Wise Saying That May Be Said One Day… The wise don’t burn any candles A Sometimes Cruel and Absurd World… Three workers from a North Carolina nursing home have been arrested over allegations they ran an underground fight club with dementia patients who they encouraged and egged on to fight each other while they filmed https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/juliareinstein/dementia-nursing-home-fight-club-three-arrested-danby-house Book Title You Will Probably Never See… The Art of Beekeeping and Book Keeping While Intoxicated and Naked Tagline To A Mainstream Competition You Will Unlikely Ever See… …and the winn...

Sponsor’s Message Sick of this pointless sponsor’s message that has been apostrophe free 24 times previously? Go Absurd! Go Absurder! GO ABSURD! Opening Absurdity 1.      Eat money with soap – it tastes worser, ya know!? I wish I could have thought of that line mr and mrs lala! 2.      Code Red is just Code Blue in disguise 3.      Wake up, costume up, and put on my martyr shoes Quote of the Day “Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. By true I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies and in the end, isn't that the truth? The answer is no.” (Leonard Nimoy) A Possibly Wise, Possibly Foolish Saying… The best thing about life is death A Sign You Will Probably Never See… UNPROUD OF YOU A Cruel and Absurd World… A fight over a chip has left a 29-year old Brazilian man dead, after he was punched in the face...

Sponsors Message Ready. Set. Go Absurd! Opening Absurdity I wasn’t really or ever. I just spent my days singing into pink balloons that were yellow. (That’s a luminous juxtaposition spoken by the sir and dame of many antiquated dreams). Not get it Quote of the Day “... the more I learned, the more conscious did I become of the fact that I was ridiculous. So that for me my years of hard work at the university seem in the end to have existed for the sole purpose of demonstrating and proving to me, the more deeply engrossed I became in my studies, that I was an utterly absurd person.” (Fyodor Dostoyevsky,  The Dream of a Ridiculous Man ) An Absurd World… A woman in Utah faces the prospect of jail and being put on a sex offender register all because she went topless in her own home… Maybe the date today is actually October 1873? https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/us-news/woman-could-face-jail-going-20468445 A Wise and Foolish Saying That May Someday Be S...

Sponsors Message Have an infected toenail? An infected life is much worse. Go Absurd! Opening Absurdity the small dick convention BIG DICKS NEED ONLY APPLY I wanted to be a prom queen but instead I became a butter-spread king promoting key brands like a candle Quote of the Day “Almost every wise saying has an opposite one, no less wise, to balance it” (George Santayana) An Absurd World… A £5,300-a-ticket cruise has turned into a nightmare for many passengers with reports of overflowing toilets, stale food, and key destinations being missed causing passengers to chant for a refund. Many disembarked in Belfast, after the ship docked there instead of the promised Iceland, and ended up making their own way back to London https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/cruise-passengers-chant-get-ship-20541529 A Wise and Foolish Saying That May Have Been Said There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who are alive and Those who are dead ...